WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
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we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
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But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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