I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You smell like stripper and shame
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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