Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
