Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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