he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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