he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
