Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I will be naked everywhere
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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