yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
