So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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