hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
