I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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