Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
where are my eyebrows?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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