My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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