Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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