Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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