Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
