Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
