You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
