carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
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He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex