You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.