You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
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Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
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You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.