Texts From Last Night

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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?

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  (219): I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate? http://tfl.nu/53jf
  Replies (15) Good night (5870) Bad night (975)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had

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  (614): this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had http://tfl.nu/9bpx
  Replies (7) Good night (6190) Bad night (725)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day

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  (225): finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day http://tfl.nu/v7qa
  Replies (39) Good night (5690) Bad night (789)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something

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  (708): its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something http://tfl.nu/mg8h
  Replies (35) Good night (5896) Bad night (2026)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry

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  (219): I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry http://tfl.nu/lrp2
  Replies (21) Good night (1269) Bad night (4612)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.

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  (781): I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body. http://tfl.nu/exdj
  Replies (5) Good night (2191) Bad night (1073)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  this is not real life

  (1-267): View more from Pennsylvania

  it never is. after midnight never counts.

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  (267): this is not real life (1-267): it never is. after midnight never counts. http://tfl.nu/o5xm
  Replies (5) Good night (2038) Bad night (1201)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.

  (1248): View more from

  That'll put some boobs in that bra.

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  (248): No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it. (1248): That'll put some boobs in that bra. http://tfl.nu/9gj6
  Replies (5) Good night (1710) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something

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  (601): She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something http://tfl.nu/xegg
  Replies (5) Good night (967) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  It's hard to explain...

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  (330): We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar. (330): It's hard to explain... http://tfl.nu/5wi2
  Replies (6) Good night (746) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about

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  (781): I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about http://tfl.nu/ocbn
  Replies (4) Good night (506) Bad night (750)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick

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  (423): What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick http://tfl.nu/pr7p
  Replies (6) Good night (390) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse

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  (330): I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse http://tfl.nu/h2il
  Replies (1) Good night (601) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on

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  (225): I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on http://tfl.nu/vdcw
  Replies (2) Good night (380) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often

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  (513): conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often http://tfl.nu/fm0r
  Replies (1) Good night (446) Bad night (121)

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