Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  well I can't set my house on fire every night

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  (248): well I can't set my house on fire every night http://tfl.nu/iwc7
  Replies (3) Good night (1568) Bad night (1143)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?

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  (765): So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head? http://tfl.nu/senf
  Replies (31) Good night (7576) Bad night (594)
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  (858): View more from California

  She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.

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  (858): She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause. http://tfl.nu/nsj4
  Replies (38) Good night (5648) Bad night (722)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.

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  (203): It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work. http://tfl.nu/tfd2
  Replies (14) Good night (881) Bad night (3778)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?

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  (850): why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream? http://tfl.nu/judd
  Replies (7) Good night (3533) Bad night (768)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...

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  (724): My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out... http://tfl.nu/jne9
  Replies (5) Good night (2692) Bad night (918)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.

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  (815): we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend. http://tfl.nu/dsgm
  Replies (2) Good night (1593) Bad night (532)
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  (818): View more from California

  It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.

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  (818): It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care. http://tfl.nu/qr5p
  Replies (9) Good night (1016) Bad night (1442)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.

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  (850): Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks. http://tfl.nu/uggh
  Replies (24) Good night (1316) Bad night (658)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.

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  (260): The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible. http://tfl.nu/nj7i
  Replies (2) Good night (561) Bad night (736)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE

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  (678): SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE http://tfl.nu/551z
  Replies (17) Good night (563) Bad night (2413)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.

  (415): View more from California

  Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?

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  (937): Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given. (415): Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes? http://tfl.nu/8d8c
  Replies (4) Good night (946) Bad night (461)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think we have a problem.

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  (814): I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom. (724): I think we have a problem. http://tfl.nu/1uid
  Replies (5) Good night (554) Bad night (1568)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home

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  (407): we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home http://tfl.nu/hueq
  Replies (4) Good night (444) Bad night (303)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am

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  (647): The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am http://tfl.nu/2wd6
  Replies (0) Good night (346) Bad night (227)

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