i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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