Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
