I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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