someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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