The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize