I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
it's like heaven, but drunker
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
