hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
