Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
