Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
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