NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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