I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
