she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
