there was a trapeze. enough said
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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