I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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