Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Girls should come with a carfax report
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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