Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
