Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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