It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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