and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
