At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
