I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
