we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
