I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
