I'm really into asian looking animals
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
