Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
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I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
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Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other