not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize