Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?