I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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