I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
