these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
