I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We just shotgunned beers for America
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
