Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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