just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
