I showed him my bush... on skype.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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