There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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