I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
