Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
