Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
should my penis look like a turkey
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
