i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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