My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He felt like a one man threesome
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Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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