bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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