yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
