Dude my mom stole all your condoms
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
