just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
