he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
