Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
