I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
